No More Deep Slumber In Meetings
No More Deep Slumber In Meetings
Kolkata, 7th August: Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Is there a solution to this? The answer is a big “yes”.
After a recent research conducted by a group of consultants, a solution to this painful problem has been found. “We observed and analyzed around 100 Software Engineers, before arriving at this solution”, said P. K. Bihari, Head Consultant.
In a recent World Wide Software Engineer Conference held at Kolkata, Bihari explained his simple solution, “Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that an A4 is a good size. Divide this card into columns - five across and five down. That will give you 25 blocks in all. Then, write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, best practice, bottom line, revisit, expeditious, to tell you the truth (or "the truth is"), 24/7, out of the loop, benchmark, value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the box, fast track, result-driven, empower (or empowerment), knowledge base, at the end of the day, touch base, mindset, client focus(ed), paradigm, game plan, leverage.
Now during the meeting, you need to keep your ears open for what the speaker says. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout BULLSHIT!”
Organizations are now embracing this plan with open arms. “This is really a very nice plan. I think it will be for the betterment of the employees. I think that now I can concentrate better in the big meetings that are held once a year”, feels Himadri.
Here are the testimonials from other satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:
"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." - Koushik
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." - Kamales
"This is cool! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." - Abhijit
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for one word" - Amrit
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours." - Bimales
Though it’s good news on one hand, there are some adverse effects too. “I am not exactly sure where all the A4 sheets are disappearing to. The printers are all stark empty,” said the Head of the System Administration Department. However, Bihari claims, “These are just the teething problems. As more and more employees participate, this problem will slowly vanish away. It’s just that the demand is more than the supply.”
- Internal Correspondent
